Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Stress and Fear

As the health of my family hits a rapid decline I'm filled with stress and fear at the though of being thousands of miles away. My mother has had a heart attack, my step father has a disease that is deteriorating his spine as well as intestinal issues, my grandpa Jack is getting a pace maker on Friday, my step grandma just had a hip replacement, etc....etc....How do I stand to be away from them? Especially my mom whom I am very close to. Every day I want to cry. I'm having trouble doing anything I have no motivation. I'm so full of confusion and of coarse Ken is in Alaska and I can't even call him. As usual when I'm most in need of someone I am all alone. I have been deep in prayer but everyday brings new issues and I just don't know which way to turn. I am sorry to you all that this is such a depressing post. I have just reached my boiling point and I feel that there is less of me to go around with each passing day. If I can just keep my head above the rising water, keep my children on the raft and just keep kicking. Then what?, there is no island in sight only rougher water and a darker sky.

Lord give me strength

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