Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Stress and Fear

As the health of my family hits a rapid decline I'm filled with stress and fear at the though of being thousands of miles away. My mother has had a heart attack, my step father has a disease that is deteriorating his spine as well as intestinal issues, my grandpa Jack is getting a pace maker on Friday, my step grandma just had a hip replacement, etc....etc....How do I stand to be away from them? Especially my mom whom I am very close to. Every day I want to cry. I'm having trouble doing anything I have no motivation. I'm so full of confusion and of coarse Ken is in Alaska and I can't even call him. As usual when I'm most in need of someone I am all alone. I have been deep in prayer but everyday brings new issues and I just don't know which way to turn. I am sorry to you all that this is such a depressing post. I have just reached my boiling point and I feel that there is less of me to go around with each passing day. If I can just keep my head above the rising water, keep my children on the raft and just keep kicking. Then what?, there is no island in sight only rougher water and a darker sky.

Lord give me strength

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


Easter was fun we went to church with my mom and step dad then had a wonderful lunch with Ken's mom, step dad, grandmother and step grandfather. Then the kids enjoyed an Easter Egg huint.

Right now Ken is in Alaska at the property. He will stay there for a few days working on a new driveway and bringing in some gravel. I hope that the trip home will be a quick one. I miss his so very much.

Friday, April 2, 2010

The Next Phase

Well first off I'm giving up on using our middle names, so a warning to stalkers and all around creepy people: My husband and I are both armed I carry 44 hunting revolver and a 9mm glock with a 15 round mag. Dear hubby carries a 45 glock with high round mag. SO don't even think about messin with my cubs!

LOL....on another note :)

Ken is getting ready for the next run to Alaska. This trip will be the backhoe and dumptruck. He should be heading out Monday or Tuesday. Money is getting really tight so we may have to leave some stuff behind and come back for it once we get settled and build up some funds. My dad is on the ferrie right now on his way to Washington for his last trailer and then he will hop right back on the ferrie along with my brother in law Mike who will be driving up dad's Yukon. When the three of them get to the property they are going to spend a few days putting in a second driveway to make it easier to get the big trailers in and out. They will also be brining in gravel to make pads for parking everything. With one load not going up right away that means gthe kids and I should be heading up a little earlier.

A note on my Grandpa, he seems to be looking alot better. He will be having a pace maker put in here in a couple of weeks. He has been staying out here at the house with Grandma alot more wich has been nice.

This Sunday for Easter should be a busy day. I'm taking the kids to my mom's church for service then we are going to Ken's parents for lunch and an easter egg hunt. Ken doesn't want to go so he will be staying home getting the Semi ready for his trip. He will have to take it in Monday to have the windshield repaired. He is washing it with the pressure washer today and then he needs to do some work on the fuel tanks.

Well I was going to write a little more but the natives are not being very cooperative so I'll try again after Easter.

God Bless,